I was reading a great essay in Dr. Dyer’s new book “Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life” about water. The source of life for us and our planet; how it is adaptable, how it will flow into low places. He also talked about Dr. Masaru Emoto’s works and how water will take on the intention of the thoughts around it.
I had been thinking the other day about how events and actions in my life slip through my hands, like water. I can capture some of it but the rest of it falls away. Days and weeks will go by and I will realize some of the things I wanted to do have passed away and the “rightness” of those actions have gone. An opportunity has slipped by.
If the water in my hands represents the events and actions of my days, and my hands represents time, I want to change to my hands (the context) to a glass or a bucket. This will be a way to better capture more of the content of my days. I want a way to better hold onto more of the “water” of my days.
I realize this can’t be about doing more and staying up more hours in the day. That just wears me down and makes the days feel like a burden. It gives me yet another way not to honor myself by not valuing my need for more rest and good sound sleep. It has to be about my “beingness” while I’m “doing” and the choices I make about what I’m doing.
It all seems so important. It is all important in my mind. It is all what I want to do. The stuff I really don’t want to do is not getting done until it becomes a “must do.” I hold on to the “must dos” that haven’t been done. I hold them up and say “See, I can’t get it all done. It is impossible. I’m asking too much of myself, so why bother?” It is a way to check out and turn away. It is about choices, release, and a shift inside of me that I haven’t been able to achieve yet.
As I go into Sam Camp XIV and add more water to my hands, the desire to have a bucket becomes even greater. What must I shift within myself to change my hands to a bucket? Maybe it is more of a “Let go, let God” attitude. In the same book by Dr Dyer there is a line in the Tao Te Ching about doing less and achieving more. Perhaps I should stop trying to shove my life into a box that is too small to contain the events of my days and allow those events to be the container of my days. Is it my belief that there will not be enough time in my life to achieve all that I want so it must all be done “NOW”? That urgency creates a guilt about all that is undone which in turn creates a “need to” attitude. I rebel against the “need to” and “must do”. I put my feet down and dig in and say “DON’T WANT TO!” and more time slips away as I fight against my attitude only.
I do not have the answer and yet, I feel that it is already right there in front of me. I can’t distinguish between one cup of water and another in the ocean of choices before me. It tickles between my fingers and is gone.
Perhaps it is not about capturing the water with my hands or a glass or a bucket. Perhaps the answer lies within the endless flow of that water over my hands, watch the flow and rejoicing in it as it moves. Water that doesn’t flow becomes stagnate. Maybe it’s just about flow. Maybe.
In love and light
Celina
Ramblings from Within 