Tribute Written to My Mother

Last week I said “Good bye” to someone who had been the rock and foundation of my life – my mom. She made the transition to spirit at 12:30 am on February 12th, three days before her 70th birthday. As the months go by, I will grieve for the loss of her physical presence in my life. I will learn to live without her hugs, her voice, and her “Be careful driving” as I leave her house. I know her Spirit and her Presence will always surround me and support me. I know this and yet, I will still miss her physical presence. I would like to share with you what I wrote, and read, at her funeral mass to honor her presence in her life. Thank you all for letting me share this with you and honoring my mom in this way.

“When I was 3 months old my parents opened their home to me. They opened their family to me. They opened their hearts to me. 3 years later they did the same for my sister. We were complete strangers that became treasured children. Complete strangers that became family. We were enfolded in a mother’s loving arms. We were embraced by a mother’s loving heart. What I cherish about my mother is her open heart.

Everyone was welcome in our home. I don’t remember any one of my friends being made to feel unwelcome or unwanted. She accepted everyone. They had a place to stay, food to eat, and a person to protect them when needed. She was fiercely protective of her family, and her family included many. I was often surprised at how easily the word “mom” came to the lips of friends when they met my mother and how quickly she included my friends as “family.” It amazed me and made me proud. I was proud to share my mom with others so they could know how very lucky I was. She embodied everything the word mother meant – love, comfort, protection, acceptance, and nurturing.

One of the blessings this illness brought to my mother was the realization of just how many lives she touched. Until then she never realized just how much of a difference she made to people by just being her. She had never realized just how much her open heart affected the lives of the people around her. She was shocked at how many people wanted to support her and my dad. She was surprised to realize that she was cherished and loved by so many people. I am very thankful that she was able to learn this and that she was to see and understand the differences she made for so many people.

When all is said and done, that is what she truly was for so many – Mom.”

 

Mary Brooks, you will missed in this life by those you have left.

 

In love and light
Celina

Who Would You Be Without Your Memories?

I watched this TV show where one of the characters lost his memory. During the course of the show he ended up getting back with his ex-wife. He no longer remembered why they had gotten divorced so couldn’t understand why he had left her. She became an anchor for him of who he had been. Another one of the characters wondered if it would work when one of the couple has years of baggage and the other is completely open to something new. This got me to thinking – who would I be if I woke up tomorrow and didn’t remember anything about my life? What would be important to me? How would I act? What parts of me are shaped by my memories and what parts of me are shaped by my instincts? If I woke up tomorrow with no memeory would I get to choose everything about myself? Would I get to choose how I react in situations? Would I still even like coffee?

I can’t even begin to know the answer to this. However the question is a great place to start looking at my behaviors and actions. Where did they spring from? Why am I acting this way? Is this something I learned over time or is it an instinct? If I didn’t remember any of my past would I still act this way? It is really a very intriguing question and it goes back to the whole nature vs nurture question – which is the most influential in someone’s development and behaviors? This question has been studied by scientists for many years. As far as I know, they haven’t come up with a concrete answer yet. However, I could have missed the memo.

On most days this question is way more analytical than I want to get. I really don’t want to spend my every waking moment figuring out if this action is something I learned from my past or is something I do instinctively. Instinctive reactions have been programmed into us as a species for many generations as a way to survive. Many of those instincts may not apply to our current living situation. They are still there, however, and you respond to them accordingly. Fight or flight is a well known instinctive response. When you find a behavior that is not supporting you, asking yourself if it is instinctive or learned is a great way to drill down to the driving motive behind it. In those cases you can ask yourself, “If I didn’t remember who I was and had to recreate myself would I still act this way?” Either answer you get, I believe, if you find a non supportive behavior, you can reprogram both learned and instinctive behaviors in yourself. I believe we can change both these aspects of ourselves.

Take some time and ponder for a moment – if I didn’t remember anything about me, what would I choose for myself? Who would I choose to be? Hmmmm. The possibilities are endless.

In love and light
Celina

Are You Seeing the Omens and Signs Left By God?

If he pushed forward impulsively, he would fail to see the signs and omens left by God along his path. from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Patience. How often have we been told that patience is a virtue? How often have you thought “But I want it NOW!!!!!!”? I know I have thought that a lot. I know when I start something new that I want it done, or learned, or mastered right away. I don’t want to wait patiently. I don’t want to practice for years. I don’t want to have to go through all the tedious reading and figuring out. I just want it done. Now, if you please. These are the times I forget that it’s about the journey and not about getting there. For the most part, when I begin something and I think of all those long hours that it will take to finish it I get blogged down by the time it will take. I never really consider that I might miss something if I rushed through it.

Our world is so fast paced now. Everyone wants everything done yesterday. At work our customer keep asking for faster turn around times and cheaper costs. Quicker, cheaper, and “good enough.” With all this running around and “getting things done” what signs have we missed? What omens are we neglecting? Well, turn on the news any day of the week and you can see some of thing signs we have ignored. I also know many of us are looking at these signs and omens and reading them appropriately. We are acting on them. We are hearing what the world has to say and making the choices that are supportive to the world, ourselves, and the future.

What about on a more personal level? What about in our own lives? I ask all the time for clarity. I want to know what to do, what choice to make, to get me the life I want. “Show me the way”, I ask (and beg sometimes). I believe the problem is that I want it “NOW” so I am looking for the wrong signs. I look for the one shot deal and fast turn around time. I expect the “get rich quick” plans. Maybe, instead, I should be saying “show me the next step” with a “now, if you please” attached. Maybe instead of looking for the “3 day turn around time,” I should be looking for the “IRA investment plan.” The universe has its own Divine Timing. When I attach my expected timing to it, I close off the flow and I miss the sign and omens through which The Soul of The World is speaking to me. Patience is a virtue. It is also a great way to actually hear what is being spoken to you and seeing what you are being shown.

 

In Love and Light

Celina