Jealousy and Envy.

A good friend has come to you with some awesome news! They have just… [won the lottery, got accepted into the school of their dream, met their soul mate, are going to have a baby, got a promotion, raise, or new job]. Whatever it is, you are very excited and happy for them. You celebrate with them and help in the planning. Still, there is a part of you that is a little bit envious and a little bit jealous. You shove that part down deep inside of you because it is ridiculous! You are truly joyful for that the successes your friends have going on in their lives. The jealousy and envy is stupid and really not at all the person you are and want to be.

Still it was there.

Jealousy and envy, like anger, are emotions that most people put the “bad” or “negative” label on. So lets take a closer look at two of those emotions. Jealous is defined as a feeling of resentment against someone because of that person’s rivalry, success, or advantages. Another definition of jealousy is to be solicitous or vigilant in maintaining or guarding something. Envy is defined as a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to advantages, success, or possessions of another person. So these two feelings are described as resentment, discontentment, or covetousness.

Our emotions are there for a reason. We were given them, all of our emotions, by Spirit when our souls decided to take the human shape in this physical reality. Our emotions are not good or bad. They are just feedback. As with any feedback, there is information there for our expanding and growth if we are willing to look at it. If we are willing to take that emotion out from where we shoved it down inside of us and look at what it is really saying to us, we can expand ourselves and our joy at other successes.

What is the feedback that we might be receiving when we feel jealous or envious? Well the obvious is that we want what they have. OK. Is that really a bad thing – to want what someone else has? The feeling itself is not the problem, it what you do with the feeling that is the problem. Just noticing that you are jealous because your friend has a great new relationship and doesn’t spend as much time with you as before is not destructive or hurtful. It’s just a notice of what you want in your own life – either more of your friend’s time or a similar relationship. Is that “bad”? No. It is giving you something to strive for. It is showing what you want more of in your life. It is the actions that some people have taken after feeling the jealousy that has given jealousy its bad reputation and causes most people to deny that they are even feeling some jealousy or feeling envy.

Our emotions are here for a reason and that reason serves us. Denying any of the emotions we feel does not serve or support us. Use your emotions as the tool they were meet to be. They are road maps and sign post for your life. What is your anger, jealousy, or envy bringing to your notice? Take note of it and act in a supportive way on those feelings. Go out and search for a relationship (and have some fun while doing it), get your resume out there, or talk to your boss about your options. Do something that will move you forward into those things that you desire from someone else’s life. Stop beating yourself up because you felt that way. Notice it, figure out what it was saying, and take action. That is what our emotions are here for – guiding us on this path we call life. Enjoy that journey and don’t forget the chocolate.

In love and light,

Sapped by the “I Don’t Feel Creative” Belief?

You have decided that your creative endeavors are going to become more of a priority in your life. You have gone so far as to schedule time several days a week for those endaevors. You have even mangaged to convince your family, friends, pets, and yourself (most importantly!) that this time is sacred. You have the “Do Not Disturb” sign out and have sat down, tools at hand, ready to begin. You twiddle your thumbs, arrange the tools of your desk, shift in your seat, change the music – basically you do anything but what you sat down to do. Why? You don’t feel very creative at this moment. All your ideas went out the window, even though you know that you had a ton of them to work on. Hell, you were so excited to have so many ideas that you couldn’t wait to start. Now? Zip. Nada. Nothing. So you sigh and get up to leave.

STOP RIGHT THERE. Don’t take one more step. Don’t let this sapper control your actions.

“I don’t feel creative” or the sister sapper “I don’t have any ideas” are just excuses your mind is telling you to keep you doing the same thing you have been doing. Like any new habit you are forming, your mind and body put up a lot of resistance to the change, even if you know the change will support you in your life. Right now you have a thousand things running through your minds that you could be doing and all of them are urgent and all of them are important. Since you can’t think of anything to create right now, why not just come back later. “WHY NOT?” you ask. I’m glad you asked! Because it’s not going to be any better the next time either. All those important things are going to be there now or later. So don’t listen to what your mind is telling you “I don’t feel creative” and just do something, ANYTHING! Doodle on a piece of paper. Type out random sentences. Develop a jingle for yourself. Take out and old piece and try redoing it anew. Do something to let your mind and body know that this is your time and you are going to work despite what it tells you. Make this time your creative time. Create and stick to the habit of it.

Eventually, and it won’t take very long, your mind and body will learn that this is your sacred creative endeavor time, and when you put up the sign and go to your space, it will begin to get excited and the ideas and creativity will flooooooooooooooooooow! Try it. Stick with it for six months. See what happens.

What have you got to lose? A little time. What have you got to gain? Joy, connection, smiles, satisfaction, and a bliss that comes with doing something you love and enjoy.

In love and light


Are you Afraid of Death? Why?

If you aren’t afraid of dying, there is nothing you can’t achieve.

Verse #74 from the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu.

I have never been afraid of death. Dying on the other hand… I don’t want to be burned to death, or eaten by a shark, nor tortured to death. I can really do without that kind of death. Not so much on the drowning either. I am completely not worried about what comes after this physical body finally bites the big one and stops functioning. I’m not really worried about the hours and days before my death. In other words I don’t ponder it a lot or think about it often. When it does come up, it’s more like “No. I really don’t want to die that way.” Not that I don’t want to die because, really we don’t have much choice about it. That being said, I’m totally cool with the death part.

The Tao Te Ching mentions several times in its 81 verses about our physical bodies and the complications that these bodies can cause. We get so wrapped up in its sensations, its wants and needs, and the trappings of this physical existence that we lose sight of what is happening underneath it all. We lose sight of the Truth. The Tao is what happens underneath it all. The Tao is ever present and without end. When these physical bodies bite the big one, the Tao and the part of us that is One with the Tao in every moment, will continue on. It is only when we get caught up in this physical existence and the belief that this physical is all there is that death and dying become this frightening, scary thing. It is then that we are desperate to do everything and anything to ensure our continued existence and we grab for material things to fill that grave hole. We have separated ourselves from the Truth. When you look at the lifetime as all there is, of course its ending would be frightening.

How would you live your life differently if you truly knew, like really knew, I mean like no kidding, that you continue on beyond this earthly body? How would your life be different if you incorporated that knowing into all that you do? Would things become less stressful for you? Would you not take things so personally? Would you live your life with less urgency? Would you stop and smell the flowers more often? Perhaps all those cares and worries that weigh you down day by day, week by week, and month by month would feel a little less heavy. Maybe they would feel a little less burdensome. Knowing that there are lifetimes in front of you to experience the physical world, would it really be that important to get the next X-box, iPad, or new car? Certainly we are meant to enjoy life and this physical existence. However we are not here to make the physical trappings of the world our sole reason and purpose for doing things. We are meant to Live. Appreciate this life and those that share this life with us. We are meant to Create and share that with others. We are meant to Laugh, Cry, Hope, Connect, and die. Always we are meant to know that we are more, so much more, than our physical bodies.

In love and light