What Kind of Leader are you?

When the Master governs, the people are hardly aware he exists.

Verse #17 from the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu

In this verse of the Tao we are given a new way to look at leadership, a way of non-interference. A leader refers to anyone who is in an authoritative position. Here the Tao Te Ching is saying that the best leader, one who embodies the Way, is one who people are not even aware of as a leader. This person takes no credit for the success of the team and even the team members believe they were able to accomplish it all without the leader actions.

We are raised to believe that a leader is strong and authoritative. It is a person who gives all the right orders at all the right times. A leader is a person who knows what to do in every situation. Just think of how much more quickly and efficiently things would get done if everyone knew exactly what to do in every situation and just did it instead of waiting for orders. Imagine how it would be if the team of people you lead could realize their own potential and do what needs to be done without the leader telling them to. What would that look like for your productivity? If you as a leader created the space for people to learn and grow and expand, you created a space for them to realize the correct actions on their own. Think how more confident and efficient your team would be. You can give direction, make suggestions and in the end work with them to adopt their own ideas at how to make things work better, how to resolve the problem.

Think about where in your life you are in a leading position and ask yourself what kind of leader are you there. Are you always telling people what to do and when? What happens when you are not around? Are the people on the team able to think for themselves? Are they willing to make decisions if you are not there? Are they encouraged to present new ideas and new methods? The attitudes and methods of those you lead are a reflection of who you are as a leader. What kind of leader do you want to be?


In Love and Light


How to live with anyone.

Ten rules of the house that when applied and implemented will help anyone live together

OK, maybe that’s overstating it a bit little. However this post was developed out a frustration of living with someone who had a completely different idea of what it meant to keep a clean and tidy house. We have different tolerances about what acceptable household practices are. After a day (or two) dishes in the sink gross me out, especially if I’m going to use the sink. My husband doesn’t think anything of leaving dirty dishes in the sink until we run out of clean forks, always the first causality in our house. Then it’s a toss up on whether all the dishes will get done or just the forks. You would think having an automatic dishwasher would help. It actually has and yet, there are still dishes in the sink.

I’m convinced that there is a gene inherent in the male of the human species and it has a primal need to cover every free surface in it’s dominion with stuff. This has been reinforced over the years by working with mostly male coworkers. I will freely admit that I place things on free surfaces also, however it rarely becomes that object’s permanent home, as is the case with many of the male species’ objects. After a month that piece of paper sitting on the table, with some random number on it, really would be better somewhere else. Mail is not a priceless treasure to be saved for weeks. It would be much better to go through it, well, daily.

Anyways, what I’m discussing here are 10 rules that if everyone will agree to abide by and implement, will create harmony with the household. If you want to be really creative you can enact a rewards and consequences system. Maybe something like a dime in a jar for every violation, have different jars for different people and the one with the lowest amount at the end of the month gets to buy something that they would like for the household. Be creative and have fun!


1. If you take it out – PUT IT AWAY
2. If you drop it – PICK IT UP
3. If you dirty  it – CLEAN IT
4. If you empty it – FILL IT BACK UP
5. If you fill it up – EMPTY IT OUT
6. If you bring it in – FIND IT A HOME
7. If you borrow it – ASK PERMISSION
8. If you lose/break it – REPLACE IT
9. If you turn it on – TURN IT OFF
10. If you’re going out – LEAVE A NOTE (and make sure the doors are locked!)

So there it is! Let me know what you think or if there are other rules that might make more sense or that you like better. I love feedback! If anyone implements these rules I would love to hear how it all worked out for you!

In love and light


Wait… How is it Perfection?

Immersed in the wonder of the Tao you can deal with whatever life brings you.

Verse #16 from the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzo

Within the Tao all things happen with perfect wisdom and perfect timing. Things that cause stress and frustration are just brief moments within the long life of the Tao. The Tao is complete, total, whole and perfect in all that it does and all that it is. It has been the force of creation for all the world and universe. It has created everything in the universe. It is an infinite source of ideas and conceptions. It is the never ending possibilities. Is that not amazing? The Tao is pure wonder and amazement at the infinite variety around us. A variety that continues to this day and will continue long after we have left this physical plain.

So if everything within the Tao is perfect and wonderful, how can there be so much pain and suffering around us? It is our connection to this physical manifestation that we call our bodies that causes our stress. The stress and frustration caused by an event is only caused by your thought processes and your perceptions around those events. It is caused by the beliefs of what will happen to you in the body, in the physical form. Stress is caused by our desires and wants that arise from being within these physical beings. Because we can feel pain, anger, hurt, love, joy, sorrow, and loss, the minutes and hours of our days are consumed by not allowing those “bad” feeling to occur. We spend our time working to achieve a comfort and security that is temporary at best, an illusion at worst. Still, even these bodies and this life is a perfect manifestation of the Tao.

Allow the thoughts of acceptance of the temporary condition of this physical pain to come into our beliefs. Be aware that “this too will pass.” Know that everything that occurs is part of the Tao. Immerse yourself in the knowledge that although you are in the flesh at this time, your true being is spirit and is fully connected to the Tao at all times. Immerse yourself in the place of no time and just being, be within the Tao. In that place, with that knowledge of how temporary this moment is, you can face all that life has to offer.


In Love and Light


Busy, Busy, Busy.

Can you remain unmoving until the right action arises by itself?

Verse #15 from the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu

Do you feel like you always have to being doing something? Perhaps it doesn’t even matter what the action is as long as you are doing something, because it’s then that you feel like you are productive and purposeful. How many times have you rushed in to get something done, because “somebody had to do it,” only to realize that whatever action you had taken was ineffective or worse has to be completely redone? In these lines the Tao is asking us to stop doing and wait for the right moment. It is telling us that that the actions are meaningless in and of themselves unless they are the right actions. It is asking us to let go of the do, do, do and wait for that one moment when it is correct to move forward.

Take a look at all the actions you complete in one day. How many of them are re-actions to the events or situations around you? How many of those actions were done because they were habits or part of some daily routine? As you go through your days, become more aware of all the actions you are taking throughout the day. See if you are taking these actions in awareness or if you are just doing them. Are you eating at lunch because you’re hungry or because it’s lunch time? Are you watching TV because you’re interested in what’s on the TV or because you always watch TV at this time? Are you reading the book because you want to read or because you don’t want to clean the bathroom? Each action has a time and place. Can you allow yourself to let go and just wait for that time to arrive? Can you let go of the doing just so you are doing something? Can you allow yourself time in your day to just be and not have anything on the agenda?

As you become more aware of the right time and place for each action, you will find that your actions become more focused, more directed, more purposeful. You will find that you will be doing less yet still achieving the same amount of things. We are so geared in this society to go, go go that we forget to pause and wait. It is in the pausing and the waiting that clarity is revealed, and you will be able to see which one action is correct and that one action will replace the ten you would have done if you had just rushed in. Allow breathing space during your day and then remember to breathe! The time and place will become clear and things will get done in the correct time.


In Love and Light


Welcome to my blog!

Although I have been very happy with most of my experiences with GoDaddy, I was not at all happy to find out that I would have to pay an additional fee to remove the ads from my blog page after having just paid money to remove them from my website. So this is why everything looks different. If any of you know someone who can make this blog look more like my website, for not a lot of money or for bartering, send them my way.

I will be moving over all of my entries from all of my various writing to this one location. Even the stuff from my ning site. All my old writing and stuff will come here. I am hoping that I will be able to post my art work also. All things from Contained Within and Celina will hopefully land here first then move outwards. OK. Really everything will probably land in my newsletter first and then move out. We see how it goes. So thank for joining me and making the move if you were on my other blog.

In love and light


What are you addicted to?

I love chocolate. I love sweet tasting things. You know, cookies, cake, cheesecake, candy bars. I love, love, love white chocolate mochas from Starbuck’s! They are the best. I am addicted to sweets and sugar. There are probably a lot of Americans who are. Webster defines addicted as: to devote or surrender (oneself) to something habitually or obsessively. There is nothing in that definition that seems to imply what hold an addiction may have on our lives. After all devoting oneself to a habit is not a bad thing necessarily. The habit could be a habit of exercise, or charity work, or being to work on time. Yet when we think of “addicted” we think of it in terms of a bad thing.

How do you know when you are addicted to something? This is something Alcohol Anonymous has struggled with for years. Until the person sees it for themselves they can’t get help. Most people never want to see or acknowledge their addictions. We live with blinders on about what those addictions are and what place they have in our life. They can be as little as that first cup of coffee in the morning or as big as gambling thousands of dollars away in a week. Not all of them may prevent you from achieving the life you want and yet you should still acknowledge them for what they are. As with all things, until you are aware of something you cannot begin the process of transforming your life.

If your life is not what you want it to be, then begin to look for the addictions in your life and see if they are serving you. Are you addicted to comfort? If that is the case then exercise may be a challenge. Are you addicted to snack foods and sugar (I am)? Then eating healthily may be a challenge. Are you addicted to sleeping late? Is getting to work on time a challenge? Are you addicted to the TV? How many projects would get done while your favorite shows are on? Are you addicted to a certain lifestyle? Then that means you will do whatever you can to stay there. That can look like racking up the credit cards to live the way you “deserve” to or (and I think this might be even bigger) sabotaging your dreams and actions to stay in that place! You are addicted to that level – no lower and no higher.

Look at the behaviors you do every day. How do you surrender to those behaviors habitually and obsessively? Then ask “Are these behaviors getting me what I want?” If you want, ask your friends and colleagues. They will be better able to see those sabotaging behaviors than you will. Do you want to achieve all those things that you say you want: better job, more money, better health, more peace, more friends and better relationships? Then begin to look at what you are addicted to that prevents that from coming into your life. Ask those that are closest to you. Become aware. Once you are aware you can never go back.

After awareness comes action. To change your life means you must shift, first the mind, then the body, then everything around you shifts. Awareness is the mind, action is the body. Take one thing this week that you want to shift. What can you do with that addicting behavior to shift it into a behavior that serves you? Then get support with doing that. The best way to shift is when you have someone you can report back to. It keeps you accountable. You want to walk more and watch TV less? Make a walk date with someone who will keep you accountable. If you need to step it up find a consequences you will do if you don’t make that commitment. You can clean that person’s bathroom or kitchen, mow their lawn, babysit their kids, etc. Find something that will raise your level of commitment because you don’t want to do it.

What are you addicted to? Is that supporting you?

In love and light


It has always been.

Approach it and there is no beginning;
follow it and there is no end.

Verse 14 from the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu

The Tao has always been and will always be. It was there before there was time and it will be there when time has no meaning. It was what all things came from. You can’t not see, feel or hear the Tao. You can only see, hear and feel its manifestations. They are all around you and in you. This world, this universe is but a small piece of all that the Tao is. You cannot see the Tao as it causes the sun to rise, yet you see the sun rise. You cannot feel the Tao when your child is born, yet you feel that moment in your own heart. You cannot hear the Tao and yet you can hear the laughter of your friends around you that comes from the Tao.

Some when, at some point, there was that moment when this physical manifestation began. Whatever your beliefs around that, there was a single, solitary moment when all that we know now – began. And before that moment there was the Tao. Within it all things were possible and will always be possible. It has known no beginning, it just was endless and forever. It will know no end. Always it will be. As is your connection to it.

Because the Tao never ends, your connection to it will never end. There is not one moment in all your life that you were not a part of it. There will not be one moment in the rest of your life that you will be absent from it. You will always be within it and a part of it. It will always give you all that you need. It has all your answers. It has the answers to the questions that you haven’t even asked yet. It knows what is your best course of action and it knows exactly the thing that will support you in your life. All that you want, all that you need, all your greatest, highest good is found within the Tao. How do you bring that into the here and now? Surrender and let it flow. Become one with it. Ask for it and then let it go. Trust, faith and acceptance are the steps on the path. Follow them and they will lead you to the Tao.