Jealousy and Envy.

A good friend has come to you with some awesome news! They have just… [won the lottery, got accepted into the school of their dream, met their soul mate, are going to have a baby, got a promotion, raise, or new job]. Whatever it is, you are very excited and happy for them. You celebrate with them and help in the planning. Still, there is a part of you that is a little bit envious and a little bit jealous. You shove that part down deep inside of you because it is ridiculous! You are truly joyful for that the successes your friends have going on in their lives. The jealousy and envy is stupid and really not at all the person you are and want to be.

Still it was there.

Jealousy and envy, like anger, are emotions that most people put the “bad” or “negative” label on. So lets take a closer look at two of those emotions. Jealous is defined as a feeling of resentment against someone because of that person’s rivalry, success, or advantages. Another definition of jealousy is to be solicitous or vigilant in maintaining or guarding something. Envy is defined as a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to advantages, success, or possessions of another person. So these two feelings are described as resentment, discontentment, or covetousness.

Our emotions are there for a reason. We were given them, all of our emotions, by Spirit when our souls decided to take the human shape in this physical reality. Our emotions are not good or bad. They are just feedback. As with any feedback, there is information there for our expanding and growth if we are willing to look at it. If we are willing to take that emotion out from where we shoved it down inside of us and look at what it is really saying to us, we can expand ourselves and our joy at other successes.

What is the feedback that we might be receiving when we feel jealous or envious? Well the obvious is that we want what they have. OK. Is that really a bad thing – to want what someone else has? The feeling itself is not the problem, it what you do with the feeling that is the problem. Just noticing that you are jealous because your friend has a great new relationship and doesn’t spend as much time with you as before is not destructive or hurtful. It’s just a notice of what you want in your own life – either more of your friend’s time or a similar relationship. Is that “bad”? No. It is giving you something to strive for. It is showing what you want more of in your life. It is the actions that some people have taken after feeling the jealousy that has given jealousy its bad reputation and causes most people to deny that they are even feeling some jealousy or feeling envy.

Our emotions are here for a reason and that reason serves us. Denying any of the emotions we feel does not serve or support us. Use your emotions as the tool they were meet to be. They are road maps and sign post for your life. What is your anger, jealousy, or envy bringing to your notice? Take note of it and act in a supportive way on those feelings. Go out and search for a relationship (and have some fun while doing it), get your resume out there, or talk to your boss about your options. Do something that will move you forward into those things that you desire from someone else’s life. Stop beating yourself up because you felt that way. Notice it, figure out what it was saying, and take action. That is what our emotions are here for – guiding us on this path we call life. Enjoy that journey and don’t forget the chocolate.

In love and light,

Sapped by the “I Don’t Feel Creative” Belief?

You have decided that your creative endeavors are going to become more of a priority in your life. You have gone so far as to schedule time several days a week for those endaevors. You have even mangaged to convince your family, friends, pets, and yourself (most importantly!) that this time is sacred. You have the “Do Not Disturb” sign out and have sat down, tools at hand, ready to begin. You twiddle your thumbs, arrange the tools of your desk, shift in your seat, change the music – basically you do anything but what you sat down to do. Why? You don’t feel very creative at this moment. All your ideas went out the window, even though you know that you had a ton of them to work on. Hell, you were so excited to have so many ideas that you couldn’t wait to start. Now? Zip. Nada. Nothing. So you sigh and get up to leave.

STOP RIGHT THERE. Don’t take one more step. Don’t let this sapper control your actions.

“I don’t feel creative” or the sister sapper “I don’t have any ideas” are just excuses your mind is telling you to keep you doing the same thing you have been doing. Like any new habit you are forming, your mind and body put up a lot of resistance to the change, even if you know the change will support you in your life. Right now you have a thousand things running through your minds that you could be doing and all of them are urgent and all of them are important. Since you can’t think of anything to create right now, why not just come back later. “WHY NOT?” you ask. I’m glad you asked! Because it’s not going to be any better the next time either. All those important things are going to be there now or later. So don’t listen to what your mind is telling you “I don’t feel creative” and just do something, ANYTHING! Doodle on a piece of paper. Type out random sentences. Develop a jingle for yourself. Take out and old piece and try redoing it anew. Do something to let your mind and body know that this is your time and you are going to work despite what it tells you. Make this time your creative time. Create and stick to the habit of it.

Eventually, and it won’t take very long, your mind and body will learn that this is your sacred creative endeavor time, and when you put up the sign and go to your space, it will begin to get excited and the ideas and creativity will flooooooooooooooooooow! Try it. Stick with it for six months. See what happens.

What have you got to lose? A little time. What have you got to gain? Joy, connection, smiles, satisfaction, and a bliss that comes with doing something you love and enjoy.

In love and light


Are you Afraid of Death? Why?

If you aren’t afraid of dying, there is nothing you can’t achieve.

Verse #74 from the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu.

I have never been afraid of death. Dying on the other hand… I don’t want to be burned to death, or eaten by a shark, nor tortured to death. I can really do without that kind of death. Not so much on the drowning either. I am completely not worried about what comes after this physical body finally bites the big one and stops functioning. I’m not really worried about the hours and days before my death. In other words I don’t ponder it a lot or think about it often. When it does come up, it’s more like “No. I really don’t want to die that way.” Not that I don’t want to die because, really we don’t have much choice about it. That being said, I’m totally cool with the death part.

The Tao Te Ching mentions several times in its 81 verses about our physical bodies and the complications that these bodies can cause. We get so wrapped up in its sensations, its wants and needs, and the trappings of this physical existence that we lose sight of what is happening underneath it all. We lose sight of the Truth. The Tao is what happens underneath it all. The Tao is ever present and without end. When these physical bodies bite the big one, the Tao and the part of us that is One with the Tao in every moment, will continue on. It is only when we get caught up in this physical existence and the belief that this physical is all there is that death and dying become this frightening, scary thing. It is then that we are desperate to do everything and anything to ensure our continued existence and we grab for material things to fill that grave hole. We have separated ourselves from the Truth. When you look at the lifetime as all there is, of course its ending would be frightening.

How would you live your life differently if you truly knew, like really knew, I mean like no kidding, that you continue on beyond this earthly body? How would your life be different if you incorporated that knowing into all that you do? Would things become less stressful for you? Would you not take things so personally? Would you live your life with less urgency? Would you stop and smell the flowers more often? Perhaps all those cares and worries that weigh you down day by day, week by week, and month by month would feel a little less heavy. Maybe they would feel a little less burdensome. Knowing that there are lifetimes in front of you to experience the physical world, would it really be that important to get the next X-box, iPad, or new car? Certainly we are meant to enjoy life and this physical existence. However we are not here to make the physical trappings of the world our sole reason and purpose for doing things. We are meant to Live. Appreciate this life and those that share this life with us. We are meant to Create and share that with others. We are meant to Laugh, Cry, Hope, Connect, and die. Always we are meant to know that we are more, so much more, than our physical bodies.

In love and light


Feel Like There’s Not Enough Time?

(The Tao) … arrives without being summoned, accomplishes without a plan.

Verse #73 from the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu.

I am learning to get into the habit of planning my day and paying attention to a to-do-list. I have found that I have been losing track of things or they fall by the wayside as life picks up speed. I want to take daily actions in transforming my business, my spiritual life, my home, and my beliefs. I want to take committed, focused action. So to support me in that goal I started doing a to-do-list, maintaining meeting notes and writing down things when I think of them. You know what? The whole process is very overwhelming when you haven’t worked like this before. I began this process of integration on the first of the year. There have been some weeks when I completely ignored my lists. However, there have been more weeks of me paying attention to it, even if I did not, exactly, get most of it done. I have been very gentle with myself and reminding myself that this is a process, a new habit I’m developing, it will take some time, and it will take some falling down. That’s OK. I can get up and continue on the next day.

Then I read this verse of the Tao and I think “Crap. I am really making this WAY harder than it is.” All things unfold in the Perfection that is the Tao. The Tao does not struggle to make things happen. A bird doesn’t struggle to fly. A tree doesn’t struggle to grow. A lioness certainly doesn’t create a do-to list when she decides to go hunting. So if all those things happen effortlessly and I am not any less a part of the Tao then they are, why am I struggling so hard? I can tell myself it is because they don’t have goals that they want to accomplish. They are not looking to change and transform there lives. I want to ACCOMPLISH something. I want to CHANGE THE WORLD. So of course it will take planning, struggle, and HARD WORK. Right?

Way wrong answer! I want things to flow easily and effortlessly. I don’t want to struggle, work hard, or be planning. I want to move and flow with the Tao. I want to create and respond to what happens around me and have that move into the exact things I desire. If the Tao provides all those things for a bird, lion, or tree, then why not for me? What’s the catch? The catch is to hold expectancy about what you want to see manifested and not to hold on to the plan. The catch is to be willing to let go of all the to-do lists, plans, and committed actions in a instant when the Tao presents your desires before you. The catch is to be open and willing to SEE those desires when they show up in all their many forms. The catch is to let go and allow the ever flowing creativity of the Tao to support you in every moment. It’s not about not taking actions necessarily, it is about taking actions without attachment. Follow your instincts and just do it. That’s the catch.

Yeah. I’m still working on it.

In love and light


Christmas? When Did That Happen?

I sort of skipped Christmas this year. My husband and I celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary on December 7th (Thank You!) and did so in Walt Disney World. We were in Florida from the 4th to the 11th. We didn’t have anything done before we left and still didn’t have anything done for the holidays when we got back. No decorations up. No shopping done. No Christmas cards addressed. No holiday plans made. Nada. After getting back from the wonderful time in Florida I really didn’t want to rush around putting up decorations, addressing cards, and fighting crowds at the stores. Well, my husband got the tree up – pre-lit for our convenience – and we decided not to put ornaments on. OK, we did put on two ornaments – the two new ones we got in Florida. No cards went out and I realized that I had more presents stashed away than I thought,so I only had to venture to the store once. We did the holiday visiting thing, delivered our gifts, said “hello” to all the appropriate people and for the most part, I basically checked out of the Holiday Season.

I didn’t realize what I had been doing until I was doing a small ceremony at home for a fellow priestess who’s son had transitioned to Spirit on December 10th. I could not be with her physically as she held her ceremony so I held a ceremony at my home. It was just me, myself, and I and, of course, all those in Spirit. I held the ceremony for her son and my mom. My mom transitioned in February and, until that moment, I honestly did not realize how sad and hurt I was that she was not here. I did not realize that I was not dealing with those emotions. I was stuffing them down and ignoring all that they were saying to me. The ceremony allowed them to the surface and allowed me to face them, acknowledge them and embrace them as part my human experience. My heart cracked open a little wider. I became a little more aware. As a result, one of the aspirations I have set for this year is to be aware of my emotions and feeling.

There are reasons we do ceremonies and rituals. These practices anchor the Invisible World of Spirit into this physical, visible world. It allows the opening and expansion of the Truth that we might ignore in the hustle and bustle of our lives. Ceremonies and Rituals bring into our lives the mysteries and wonders of a World that is always in front of us and that we rarely take a look at. All the major religions of the world have Ceremonies and Rituals. They have Traditions to be honored and Wisdom to be acknowledged. However, these are no replacement for the Wisdom of your own Heart. I would invite you for the upcoming year, a year of changes, to step into your own ceremonies. Create your own path to Spirit. Whisper your own Prayers and Light your own Light. Make it part of your regular Spiritual practice to do rituals and ceremonies of your own design. Play your own part in anchoring the World of Spirit into this physical reality.

In love and light

Guess Who Has All The Answers?

When they no longer trust themselves, they begin to depend on authority.

Verse #72 from the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu

I recently was listening to a music video posted on Facebook by a friend. (Click here to view.) One of the lines jumped out of the song and went right into my heart. When I heard this, my eyes teared up and I knew it was something I have been waiting to hear all my life. “I am the one I’ve been waiting for.” In this world of experts – where everyone is waiting to tell you what to think, what to believe, what to accept as truth, and what to understand, I am the best person to Know what is my path, what is the Truth for me.  I am my own guru. I am my own political expert. I am my own financial expert. I am my own relationship expert. I am the one I have been waiting for.

Think about any time you have asked for advice. Why did you do this? Was it because you didn’t know what to do? Was it because you didn’t want to choose? Was it because you knew what to do and didn’t want to do it? What are the reasons that you seek advice, wisdom, and guidance from other people? This verse of the Tao Te Ching answers that question. It is because you did not trust yourself to come up with the “right” solution. You didn’t believe that you had the knowledge to make the decision. You didn’t think you had enough knowledge, information, expertize, or whatever to make it happen they way you wanted to. So you began to look outside of yourself for your answers. NEWS FLASH – you have all the answers! Yes – I mean you!

During my life coach training, I was taught to hold the belief for the client that they had all their own answers. No one who came to me as a client was broken. No one needed to be fixed. They were whole and complete. They were the Perfection of Spirit incarnated (OK, that little bit came later in Modern Day Priestess training, and it is all the same). My job, my duty, my PRIVILEGE as a coach is to KNOW this for every one of my clients. It is my aspiration for this year to know this for everyone I meet and to do so despite the circumstances, despite the actions, and despite the external appearances. Depend on no one to tell you the Truth. Trust in your connection to the Tao to reveal to you all the you already know.

In love and light


What Are Your Most Powerful Tools? Your Words.

If he pushed forward impulsively, he would fail to see the signs and omens left by God along his path. from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

I really don’t think I need to write about this. Its message is clear and very understandable. Words are one of the most powerful tools we posses in this society. In a time where information of all sorts is readily available, words become the gateway to all different things. We can read about what is happening on the other side of the globe. We can write about books that have not seen print in fifty years. We can discuss the thoughts and ideas of people who have been dead for centuries. Words are indeed a gateway beyond what you can experience with your own physical body. As with any tool, they can be used to support you or not support you.

I think we all realize the impact our words have on other people. I also think many of us are beginning to realize the impact our words have on ourselves. I remember the first time I actually started listening to the words I said to myself in my head. I realized that if a friend talked to me the way I talked to myself, the friendship would not continue. I was not a very good friend to myself. Those spoken in my head were not supporting me.

In her book, Every Word Has Power: Switch on Your Language and Turn on Your Life, Yvonne Oswald talks about how there is vibrational frequency to words. Some words have a low frequency and some words have a high frequency. She discusses how changing how you speak so that you relay the same information and yet are using only higher frequency words will transform your life. You are literally raising or lowering your body’s vibration with your words. These vibrations affect you and those around you. Changing the words you use to talk to others will transform your life. Use your words to support yourself and others.

My training as a coach and my time in the personal development seminars has made me much more aware of the words I use and how I use them. I still relapse. I’m eliminating words like need, try, must, should, and have to from my thought patterns. I still trip up, but they crop up less and less. To me, these words are low vibration and do not support me. They make me feel burdened and put upon. They weigh me down and make me feel heavy. Notice what you say and how you say it. Are you using your words like a knife, to cut into flesh and bone? Or are you using your words like a warm blanket, to cover and warm? Words have power. How are you using your power?

In Love and Light