Anger & Fear – Are You Using Them Creatively?

Today I’d like to talk about anger and fear – two emotions that seem to have gotten a bad rap in our society. Actually, most emotions have gotten a bad rap. If you demonstrate any emotions when you are speaking to people, they seem to use that as a way to dismiss what you say as “emotional” and therefore not worth their attention. However, that is a post for another day. Today I am writing about fear and anger.

Most people will do anything they can to be sure not to exhibit fear or anger. For that matter, most people are not even willing to feel or to acknowledge that they are feeling those emotions. When we do see someone who is exhibiting these emotions we get uncomfortable and then proceed to coerce them into not feeling these emotions. A child who wakes up afraid from a dream is told, “It’s just a dream.” This dismisses the fear as irrelative because “It’s just a dream.” We are told to push past the fear, to feel and do it anyway, to put aside the fear, and take action. When we are angry, our words are dismissed because they “were spoken in anger.” When we see someone who is angry, everyone backs up and backs away, no longer giving attention to that person, just to that person’s anger. When we are asked “Why are you angry?” it is asked in such a way that we are made to feel like we have no right to be angry. A child throwing an angry tantrum is told to “Behave!” or else “I’ll give you something to cry about!”

Anger and fear are emotions, the same as joy, love, and excitement. They are not positive or negative. These emotions are as much a part of the human condition as blue eyes and brown hair. They just ARE and like any emotions, they give insights and clues into what is going on for us as humans. Both anger and fear are indicator that somewhere in our mind and body we believe that something is not the way it should be. These emotions let us know that something is “Wrong.” When you allow yourself to feel these emotions you can get to the base of what the “wrongness” is about. You can use these emotions as indicators to take another look, assess the situation, find out what is going on for you, and find out what’s going on in the situation. They are amazing opportunities for growth and change.

These emotions have a place and a purpose. If you are a woman alone on a dark street and someone approaches you – fear keeps you alert and it will give you energy for action if needed. If you see an act of injustice, anger can give you that push and energy you need to take action to right that injustice. However, if you are in a business meeting and you are angry with someone when they disagree with your suggestion, this is an excellent opportunity to feel the anger and learn what is going on with you and the situation. Maybe you feel like you are being threatened; maybe you are intolerant because they can’t see the “right” thing to do; maybe you feel defensive, unheard or unworthy. You can use this as an opportunity to look and see what belief system this anger is defending. Then you can look and see if that belief system is supporting you or not. The emotion of fear can be used the same way – “Why am I afraid?”, “What is going on here?”, “Am I paying attention to my instincts?” All emotions that we feel are great spring boards to learn more about our belief systems. Fear and anger are especially great opportunities to learn from, because they are emotions that we become very aware of. We are aware of them because they have gotten such a bad rap and we do everything we can to suppress and ignore them! Use these emotions as the opportunities that they are.

In love and light

Celina

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