Are You too Immersed in Your Life to See Clear?

Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should live their lives, but none about his or her own. by Paulo Coelho in The Alchemist

Don’t you just love this line? Although the shepherd boy was speaking of this in a negative sense, in the “Why can’t people just mind their own business” kind of way, I’m looking at it from another perspective. I’m looking at it from this perspective: yes, sometimes people do have a good idea of how you should live your life because they are not in it! They may be able to see things more clearly than you can because they are not emotionally attached to the outcome or the events. Hmmm sounds a lot like life coaching doesn’t it? Of course there are a few more things I’d like to point out about this.

First – always take whatever someone says about your own life with a grain of salt. It is, after all, your life. However, always give what they said some consideration. People give advice left and right. You can’t walk 20 steps down a busy street without hearing some kind of advice to someone. Really isn’t that what commercials are? Advice on which products to buy. People love to give advice. So when they do take a look at it and see if there are any grains of truth in there that may support you. Always give the advice offered to you due consideration, then give the person a “thank you,” and release it if is doesn’t apply or take it if it does.

Second – remember whenever you share your troubles with someone their first instinct will be to help you fix that problem. So if you don’t want advice just say something at the beginning. “I’m not looking for advice I’d just like to share,” is a great line to put people on alert that you just want to release something. (I call it ranting!) So consider yourself warned – if you are sharing a problem with someone, you’re going to get advice.

Third – always listen to what the other person is saying to the end. Don’t tune out what they are saying after the first few words because you don’t think the person understands where you are coming from. Also, just because someone is not currently going through what you are going through, doesn’t mean they don’t get it. They may be getting it alright and, what’s more, because they didn’t live through it they don’t have that emotional baggage attached to it. They may be able to see the answer so much clearer than you can. If you hear yourself saying “you don’t understand,” take a really good look at why you were so ready to dismiss the other persons words. Take a real good, deep, unbiased look at why you didn’t want to hear what the other person said.

Fourth – IT’S YOUR LIFE! For goodness sake, tell them to mind their own business if they keep giving you unsolicited advice on how to deal with your own life. My goodness people can be such busybodies.

 

In love and light

Celina

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