Do You Have to Be Right to Support Others?

Can you love people and lead them

without imposing your will?

Verse 10 from the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu

In these lines from the Tao Te Ching, we are being asked whether we can help and support one another without allowing our desire to impose our will on them to come into the mix. Anytime you think that a person would just be so much better off if they only would do this – then you are imposing your will on them. At least you would like to impose your will on them. You would like them to change, to be different, to change who they are. All for their own good, of course. In these lines we are being asked to love people without imposing our will on them. In other words, accept them as they are.

Think of a family, business, nation, or world where we worked with people to find their own way and worked to accentuate their positives. Think of how different it would be if, instead of forcing people to learn in a certain way, do things a certain way, or think a certain way, we worked together to find each person’s abilities and strengths and worked with those strengths. Think what it would be like if we encouraged our differences because all of our differences coming together exponentially multiplies what we can be and do. What would it be like in a relationship where, instead of expecting a person to do something your way and change to behave like you think they should, you constantly complimented them on all the things that you liked about them? Think about how your work life might be different if your boss thanked and complimented you everyday on what you did right. Think about how a team of people working together, each doing what they do best, not caring about imposing their will on the rest of team and only concerned about achieving a goal could and would achieve. Think about how much that team could accomplish when they let go of the power trip and the ego and just focused on the goal to be achieved. Can you even imagine this?

During your days, begin to notice where you may be imposing your will on those around you. Think about what this might look like for you. Notice when and how others might attempt to impose their will on you. When these occurrence happen ask yourself why it needs to be this way. Ask if it is the result that is important or the method for achieving that result. Many times the method is very important. That is OK. Are others imposing their will on you or have you made the choice to allow this because on the outcomes it will achieve? There is no right or wrong in this. We are noticing what, why, and when we may be imposing our wills on others and when others are imposing their wills on us. After you make these observations and notices, begin to find new ways of working with people that will accomplish the results wanted but without imposition of a will.

In love and light

Celina

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