Journal vs Blog

I have been recently thinking about starting a blog (my hubby absolutely hates that word) because I have begun exploring the writing side of my creativity. I will post here my rambling around that some other day. So I thought a web log would be nice way for all my friends to just link to it (or some such thing. That is still very new to me.) and get a copy of my latest rambling. Then I started my ICA education. I found I would have to journal and that it would be in the form of a blog. Let me tell you, all sorts of alarms and programs went off about that, with a lot of major resistance. Today I read the purpose of the blog from ICA’s point of view. OK, so connect what I am learning to myself, other students and the world at large. It is a way to show that I’m understanding and digesting the learning. OK that I can do.

My first entry will be about journaling for me and why I had so much resistance come up for me when I knew it was going to be in the form of a web log. Another side note, I don’t type very fast, so this computer thing for a journal – so not fast.
I always thought as a child it would be cool to have a dairy but never could maintain the discipline to do so. There was just too many other cool things to do. I wish I had done so now, so much of my past is lost to time and an unreliable memory. Well, the kid’s dairy thing never happen. My next exposure to journaling was “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron. www.theartistsway.com.

In that book she talks about the daily dialog pages. Non-negotiable – 3 pages every day in longhand (no typing! HAH). She maintains that the physical act of writing taps into the subconscious better than typing. Julia also recommends doing the pages first thing in the morning for a more direct route to that subconscious. I have done them in the morning and in the evening and both ways provide insights. I spent one evening writing for over an hour, seven pages, about religion and God. For me, the morning and evening pages were two completely different experiences. Now a days I do my journaling in the mornings.

Any ways, this is when I began my journaling. Within the pages of the book, Julia explains how this journal is your safe place, never let anyone else read it. You can put whatever you want it there, write anything. Burn it afterwards if you need to do so to feel safe but these pages and this journal was just for you. I LOVED that idea. I began the dialog pages, I would like to say every day, however that didn’t happen. They have continued in one form or another to this day, sometimes with long periods of withdrawal, always to be begun again. I have told my husband to burn them unread, if anything ever happened to me. It would not serve him to read them. It doesn’t serve anyone to read, not even me. In fact I recently began burning all my old pages. That person is no longer me and I don’t want to go back and find out what she was like. The only place we have power and choice is within this moment in time. Every moment is a choice. Learn from the past but don’t live there, don’t dwell there.

So a web log (I love you, hon) is not journaling in any sense for me. Everyone who has access to the net can read my blog once I make it public (again a little fuzzy on how the whole thing works but I am learning). So I will still journal and I will maintain this web log also. Maybe they would slowly merge, maybe not. After all, the only place I would want to remember my dream about silly blue leprechauns chasing me with spatulas would be in my journal. Really, who wants to know about that? Now, just to be clear I never dreamed about silly blue leprechauns chasing me with spatulas but if I did it would only be recorded in my journal. Really, I never did. NEVER. I swear it.

In love and light
Celina McMahon

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